Monday's blog about the old-fashioned gender roles in fantasy novels got me thinking about other overused plot devices that tend to aggravate me enough that they distract me from whatever I'm watching. This is a list of the ones that really get my goat, as the kids say.
1. Marriage is awful!
Epitomized by a shrill wife and a dumb henpecked husband. (Christina Applegate and Jim Gaffigan in Going the Distance, Jaime Pressly and Jon Favreau in I Love You Man) Is this the only way married couples are funny?
2. The Wait, What?
Starting stories in media res, that is, after some sort of game-changing event, only to immediately switch back to events however many days or hours earlier. (V, Firefly, Fight Club, How I Met Your Mother) Otherwise known as, let's start things off with a cliffhanger so you can't leave!
3. The Comical Incompetent
Someone who does not cook often decides to cook a meal. They are not just unskilled, they are suddenly without any common sense. (Friends, Bridget Jones' Diary) Look, I'm not a good cook. But since I can read, I can follow a recipe. So can everyone else.
4. The Kevin James
Heavyset, not so Brad Pitt-esque man, skinny, hot wife/love interest. (According to Jim, the Simpsons, Family Guy, Knocked Up, Superbad, everything Kevin James: King of Queens, Hitch, The Dilemma, Grown-Ups) Not to call out Mr. James as a complete Quasimodo, but did he really need to be married to Winona Ryder in his newest movie? It's not so much that I think it's unimaginable that a hot girl would like a slightly shlubby dude, it's more that I don't understand why the girl has to be so very hot. I know, I know, it's a male fantasy. But would it be impossible to cast women who are a little more normal looking?
5. The Stifler
Totally pleasant lead character mysteriously has completely repellent friends. Often found in comedies. (The Sweetest Thing, American Pie, the Hangover) I think this is usually an effort to make the leading man/lady more appealing. But come on. We all judge the person we're dating by their friends.
6. The Feminist's Delight
Ladies give up their careers in order to be with the man they love. (How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Fool's Gold, 27 Dresses) It's like a code. The moment you see a woman rushing around, talking on a Blackberry and holding a disposable coffee cup, you can just assume that she is about to learn the importance of giving up on her career so she can make it to her new boyfriend's adorable nephew's teeball game.
7. The Best-Laid Plan
One last heist and then I'm getting out of this business, I swear! (The Italian Job, The Score) Could the possibility exist that the costs of that final heist will outweigh the rewards? There are more examples of this one, but frankly I find this concept so dull that I usually can't make myself go see this type of movie.
8. Men Don't Make Passes at Girls Who Wear Glasses
Lady takes off glasses, is suddenly more attractive. (She's All That, My Big Fat Greek Wedding) Ahem. As a lady who wears glasses, I am insulted, insulted I tell you, by the implication that glasses don't make you look good. Also, who wants to put contacts in every morning at 7am? Not this girl.
9. Diagnosis: Consumption
Cough once, die in twenty minutes. The only example I want to list here is Moulin Rouge, since this is a spoilery plot device, but really, we all know this one. If you're watching a period film, the person who coughs has a dramatic deathbed scene fast approaching. I mean, plenty of people had tuberculosis in Ye Olden Times, but there were so very many ways to die back then. I'd like to see more people dying of cholera. I will also accept snake bite, because I enjoy Oregon Trail references.
10. Abstinence, kids!
Couple gets together, man dies, woman is left pregnant. Also, having sex once gets you pregnant. Again, I'm only going to list one example here (Cold Mountain) since this is a big spoiler. But honestly. I think this is the one that annoys me most. Currently. As is probably clear by now, I'm easily irritated.
What about you? Which over-used plot device really gets your blood boiling?
i'd have to say the kevin james. because it is so ubiquitous. also, i think it irritates me the most because there is a decent amount of truth to it. why no movies where hot dudes are with unattractive women? answer #1: sexism. answer #2: because it never happens.
ReplyDeleteThat may have been an exhaustive list.
ReplyDeleteExcept for:
11) The child who arrives with world-weary, adorable insights. They're seven years old, but they know you should be going out with your nerdy, underdeveloped neighbor instead of that hot lawyer! (Jerry Maguire, Definitely Maybe which I didn't actually see but I could tell this cliche was afoot therein).
Laura, I was at this conference over the weekend and me and my immature colleagues were observing a ridiculously hot dude from afar, and then he sat down with his companion, who was Sarah Plain and Tall. And he was an architect! Stranger things have happened.
ReplyDeleteEven Pops Weidenfeld is annoyed by the Kevin James. Good #11, R-dubs. I considered adding 12) Man's entire family is killed, so he goes on a violent vengeance spree. (The Punisher, which yes, is based on a comic book, but we've all seen this) I feel like Mel Gibson has done a few of these too. Also, I work with a guy whose mother wrote Sarah Plain and Tall. Fame connection!
ReplyDeletenot a huge fan the whole "things happen once you stop trying" thing (babymama) or the "i can just rub this lamp and robin williams will give me things and sing me songs" device. TI-red.
ReplyDeleteMyself, I'd like to see a new cliché: man coughs, then a snake bites him. Snakes hate coughing.
ReplyDelete